In your Sunday best

I know I actually want to be posting things OTHER than breakup stuff.. 

But I'm finding actually I am being transformed into a new version of myself with all this reflecting. 

More Christlike, actually. 

In recognising feelings of anger, hurt, bitterness (and blogging it) and processing it with God, Taylor Swift and quote (and blogging it), a beautiful cake is being baked. 

So I don't actually feel stuck in this rut anymore. 

I think I have been growing all along. 

I can't help but notice - I feel so 'aged' and 'savvy' ? Ha ! But people I would once allow into my life I actually am beginning to see as unhealthy and place boundaries on. 

Friends who struggle, I have such empathy and timely words for. 

I feel like I understand the struggle more, too. 

I understand now why you don't see how unhealthy he is for you. 

I understand now why all you saw was the good. 

I understand now how you can be educated and still not see. 

I understand now how you can hear it from others but not believe it's happening to yourself. 

So I really do thank God for my breakup (s) - yes I feel them more deeply than most (perhaps) but out of the depth comes nuggets of gold. For myself and others, for His glory and His glory alone. 

I pray that every comfort I can provide to others may point others toward the sweet relationship offered with Jesus. 

Anyway. All that to say I discovered a blog post which I've cut and pasted my favourite sections on. 

For future reference kate murray. Take heed. 

"The reality of God’s sovereignty always trumps the terrifying myth of “The one that got away.” With God, there’s never one who gets away. Unrequited love is God’s protection, his plan, his care.

Heartache is often experienced as a sign that life is spiraling downward toward destruction and death. Yet, even with no assurance about the future, we know that it signifies glory in you. Do you hurt because of unrequited love? That is you being transformed into the image of the glory of God (2 Corinthians 3:18). You now have a special insight into the heart of God for sinners.

A breakup can be like getting hit with shrapnel — much like Tony Starke, the Iron Man. He’s hit with a dirty bomb in Iraq and has sharp pieces of metal lodged in his chest. They’re too close to his heart to be surgically removed, but can’t be left alone either, or they’ll kill him. His only choice: move into a new phase of existence — with a magnet in his chest, which keeps the shrapnel away from his heart.

A breakup can be like that. It’s often more than a scar. We’re left walking with pieces of us stolen and gone, and other pieces weighing us down, unrelentingly coming back to our mind. “I can’t stop thinking about them.” Yeah, you got hit by a dirty bomb. The surgery is impossible. Healing might not be in going back, but in becoming something new.

God is in control. His love has not ceased to be what guides your life, your heart, your circumstances. Though you feel the sting of death in your soul, God’s resurrection life is what sustains you when you feel crushed, defeated, and hopeless. Your life and your heart are not ultimately in your hands. They never were, and that’s terrifyingly beautiful news."

God is sovereign in taking away the veil to dysfunction slowly in time. 

So even to the ones who plan to toy with my heart in the future, you've chosen the wrong girl I'm afraid :) I understand your game, too. And I'm sorry you've been wired that way and walk with that broken leg. But I'm not the girl to mend you either. 

Jesus and I. My community and I. My amazing God-given housemates and I. 

We got this.