Gilead

I have really bad jetlag from the best trip in the world. 

No really. If anybody told you theirs was better I can assure you it wasn't. 

Ahhh :) scotland, Denmark and holland. The places I was brought back to life :) 

I didn't even realise I was dead. Well. That's sounds a little dramatic. 

I didn't even realise I'd lost my spark until I got it back. 

Scotland, Jenny. Denmark, all of them. Holland, Anne & her friends. 

I was the me that I was 3 years ago. Before all the wonderful times but crappy times too. Before I met people who introduced me to a rabbit hole of suspicions about who God was and who I am. 

I was the true me. The true me is when I have a proper view of Christ, and who I am in Him. 

 

I got back to that. And in doing so, Christ became everything to me. 

I Healed a lot. Let go of a lot. I laughed a lot. I cried a lot. I laughed even more. 

Anyway. Helene leant me a book, 'Gilead' from her brother Nikolaj which I forgot to give back. (Nikolaj's ok with that - he said he and Helene and Martin will just come to Australia to collect it.)

Between 2am- 4am every morning the last 3 days I've woken up, unable to fall back asleep. 

So I've developed this relaxing (but slightly inconvenient routine) of making an apple cider vinegar drink to soothe the my horrid cough while I resume reading. 

Its 1.40am, I'm with my drink and book and I've no idea how I'm going to go to work in 6 hours. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

I just wanted to write this passage from the book that stuck out to me: 

" the story of Hagar and Ishmael came to mind while I was praying this morning, and I found a great assurance in it. 

The story says that it is not only the father of a child who fears for it's life, who protects it's mother, and it says that even it the mother can't find a way to provide for it, or herself, provision will be made. At that level if is a story full of comfort. That is how life goes - we send our children into the wilderness. Some of them on the day they are born, it seems, for all the help we can give them. Some of them seem to be in a kind of wilderness unto themselves. But there must be angels there, too, and springs of water. Even that wilderness, the very habitation do jackals, is the Lords. I need to bear this in mind." 

I read that over and over. It's so nice to muse on. 

This afternoon I sat in the same place but felt completely different. It is well with my soul.