Passionfruit

I'm being rustled and the fruit is falling out of my leaves. 

I went to my friends farm a few weeks ago and we shook her passionfruit tree, and all these delicious passionfruit popped out from the leaves and fell onto the ground for our collection. They were delicious!! 

That's what going away on little retreats does for me. Unwinding and alone time in a new environment organises my thoughts and feelings and I savour sweet fruit of clarity and thankfulness. 

I jumped on a plane to Bali last Thursday night for a relaxing Easter weekend away with Kylee. We planned for lots of reflection upon Jesus, and lots of relaxation. I knew the fruit would naturally follow.

Right from the drive down Reid Highway to the airport, I had little moments of fruit. 

"We made it!!"

"You did it again!!" 

"We did it!!" 

Moments of bliss. That quiet excitement in your heart that takes you by surprise and you bubble over with unexplainable joy. Others assumr you're just in a good mood, but you've been taken up in a cloud of sheet gratefulness to The Lord Jesus. Tears of happiness sometimes spring into being, to be then resolved by a depth of deep gratitude  in your heart for God. 

"You delivered me from that darkest time and we are here!! Look where we are!!"

I tasted the fruit as I walked through the airport. 

The airport is significant for me, because it was the drive and place that was the stench of death a few months ago. When things are so bad you can taste it. 

Customs, boarding gates, taxi-ing down the runway. All once tainted by darkness, now rewritten in order, clarity, peace. Such peace. Unlike the time I boarded the plane to Israel, I was proud of the person I was, again. Not in a self righteous way, but I knew that God had chiseled and refined me back to who I was meant to be. 

I was healthy again physically, emotionally, spiritually.  

I had this to an extent boarding the plane to Capetown in December- I was definately free at that time, But I was so cautious. Like a bird let out of its cage, I was tentatively excited, half scared to open ny wings and fly. I was Testing out my strength. 

They say it takes 21 days to break a habit. I now had three months of freedom and making new, godly habits. All graciously held, sustained and worked out in and through me by my loving father God and His Holy Spirit which so powerfully works in me and is sovereign over my circumstances. 

Sure, I'm still untangling myself from a relationship breakup, I'm still figuring out how to relate to my parents in a more healthy way, I'm still learning how to identify toxic people, I'm still learning how to discern and safeguard who I yoke myself to and I'm still learning to trust my work environment after I was nearly eaten alive, ... 

but three months of stability, consistency and joy in all those areas made me bubble over with gratefulness and thankfulness in the waiting lounge. 

So much so was my reflection that I found a new courage to edit all my Israel photos on the plane enroute Bali. They are now on Facebook "That time I went to Israel." My relationship with my Israel trip is now a disdainful appreciation - we are working on the idea of liking eachother again, Haha! But thoughts of, and remembering Israel doesn't scare me anymore. 

The passionfruit came to surface this trip. Bali was a time of rustling the fruit out of me. 

A lot of one-liner thoughts, and moments of clarity.

Every day, Kylee and I would travel to some beautiful or exotic place, purchase a beverage, pray, unpack a passage of scripture and talk deeply on God and life. 

Such a good time. 

On the plane home, I listened to a song by Elevation Worship - Great Things (Worth it All). 

It moved me to tears, and really sums up my interpretation (or theology, if you will) on the past year. 

I tried to find the link to the song on YouTube, but there is none apart from annoying raspy covers.

So since I'm more intellectual anyway (rather than audio??), I'll write out the lyrics!! (Sometimes in worship I just love staring at the words). 

Verse 1 

Thank You for the wilderness 

Where I learnt to thirst for Your presence 

If I'd never known that place 

How could I have known You are better 

Verse 2 

Thank You for the lonely times 

when I learned to live in the silence 

As the other voices fade 

I can hear You calling me Jesus, 

Prechorus 

And it's worth it all just to know you more 

Chorus 

You've done great things 

Jesus, Your love never fails me 

My soul will sing 

You have done great things 

You've done great things 

In weakness, You are my victory 

My soul will sing 

You have done great things 

Verse 3 

Thank You for the scars I bear 

They declare that You are my healer 

How could I have seen Your strength 

If You never showed me my weakness 

Prechorus 

And it's worth it all just to know you more 

Chorus 

You've done great things 

Jesus, Your love never fails me 

My soul will sing 

You have done great things 

You've done great things 

In weakness, You are my victory 

My soul will sing 

You have done great things 

Bridge 

Through the fire and the flood You have never let me go 

And my soul will sing, You have done great things 

I am weak, you are strong, You wll always be my hope 

And my soul will sing, You have done great things. 

Yes and amen :) 

Fruit is being rustled out of these leaves. 

(My best friend Tammy thinks I'm so cheesy for making these pictures. Cheeseball or not, I see it in my head and can't help snap it and write it ;)) 

And finally 

And the scripture I recieved by the pool when thanking God for this journey and the culmination of this trip was Psalm 18.16-19:

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."

xx