If ever I could love

I've always thought of life as being a set of train tracks. 

One track runs one way, the track runs in the other. 

At all times, the tracks are running both ways. 

You can be having the most incredible experiences in your whole life, while walking through the deepest pain. 

God never promised us an easy life, in fact He says that "in this world, you will have trouble." But in the same breath, He speaks to that trial and says "My child, take heart. I have overcome the world. I live in you, and greater is He that is in you that He that is in the world." (John 16.33, 1 John 4.4) 

I don't know why families fall apart. 

I don't know why brokeness isn't put back together as quickly as we'd like, even if both parties will it to happen. 

I don't know how to start from scratch again. 

But I do know that God is teaching me the elementary truths of grace. All over again. 

His amazing grace that sets me above the war zone going on, and seats me in heaven with Christ (Ephesians 2.6). Here, I am safe. Here, I sit above the flood, and rule and reign with Christ. 

This baffles me. This honestly, completely astounds me. All the yokes break off. All the burdens are lifted. I don't have to worry anymore. I am freed. 

All the stress, the figuring out, the who's, what's, when's, whys, how's.. 

it all fades in the light of His grace that has saved me. Seated me above it all. 

I don't have to do ANYTHING. I let Him do it. I commit to Him my heart and all that's going on, and pray like heck that His kingdom breaks through into the kingdom of darkness.

Then I rest in the wrestle.

I pray that The Lord renews my heart and mind to love and forgive. Sometimes I pray it moment by moment. 

And he answers me. 

I love. I forgive. I love. I forgive. Over and over again. 

And the most beautiful thing happens.  

I am free. I am joyful. I don't have to run anymore. 

These tribulations have made me testify to the truth: Where the spirit of The Lord is, there is freedom (2 Cor 3.17). 

What the enemy intended for evil, The Lord will use for good!!!!

And all those little joys in your life, the sweet gifts God has given you to enable you and encourage you - well they become that much more magnified and appreciated.

The Lord is good. All the time. The Lord is good. 

"I got hurt so bad I swear I'd never let another inside this heart of mine. But you touch my hand and every plan that I had disappeared like a fallen star. There's a new beginning and I'm moving to the rhythm of a beating braver heart." 

- Keith Urban